Thursday, 20 July 2017

What IS going on? Health Update

Hi everyone, I don't even know if this post is going to get published or not but right now I need to get all my feelings out and on to something. It is going to be a long one as there is a lot to write and if you are easily grossed out or squeamish then this post isn't for you.

Ever since I started my period at the age of 13 they have never been normal. I either don't get them at all or I get them and I can't leave my bed. I have been on countless forms of contraception to try sort things out but nothing has ever worked for me. I had scans and stuff when I was 15 and they just told me "There is a few little cysts but its nothing" and that was that. Nothing else gets mentioned. 
I finally got the courage at the start of the year to go to the doctors as I hadn't had a period in well over a year. I couldn't get an appointment with a doctor so I had to see a nurse practitioner, great.
It finally came round to my appointment and I was sitting shaking in the waiting room feeling physically sick. When I was called in I sat down and explained to the nurse everything, rushing everything I was saying because I was so nervous. All the nurse could say to me was "Well your not wanting a baby yet so we will leave it until your ready" and that was that. I got home and just cried. It took me so long to find the confidence to go to the doctors and when I finally did I felt like I just been brushed off like nothing is wrong.

After around a week or so I decided enough was enough and I was going back but this time I wanted answers. My mum made me an appointment for a few weeks time but this time with a doctor and again I felt the same as I had been brushed off the first time I was scared it was going to happen again.
Eventually the time came around for me to go back again so I went in to the doctor still feeling scared and anxious and explained everything to him. I couldn't of asked for a better doctor. He told me I needed to go for a blood test and an ultrasound scan to see what was actually going on inside. He explained to me that as the lining of my womb is building up it looks like I probably can not have children naturally. That is the thing that has got me the most, ever since I was young I have wanted my own children then at the age of 20 being told it probably isn't possible really killed me. 
He referred me for a blood test and was told to come back and see him after that whilst he would refer me for my scan.
I had the blood test and went back to see him a few weeks later when he told me that I needed another blood test as something had showed up and he wanted to clarify it, he also told me the hospital had refused my scan and he was going to have to try again.
I eventually got the letter about my scan 2 months later and had it the day after I got home from Lanzarote in April. 
I was told I was going for a quick ultrasound and would be in and out with in half an hour, boy were they wrong.
They told me that because of where they needed to check they needed to do an internal scan. I was on my own and so scared. They did what they had to do and I went to work in agony.
I got a phone call a week later whilst I was on my driving test telling me I needed to go back in that day to see them as they needed to discuss my results ( I had failed my driving test so wasn't feeling the best anyway ).
I to the doctors that afternoon where they told me my bloods were still coming back not right and that my ultrasound was inconclusive.
They referred me to the specialists at the hospital, this was the first week of May and I am not at the hospital till the middle of August.
At the moment I just feel so crap about the whole situation. The unknown is killing me. I want to know what is happening, whether there is a way I can have kids or not. I don't want children right now but if I get into a relationship then that would be something I would consider in the future but I still want to know.
I keep getting pains in my stomach too which I am not sure if it is connected or not.
I am hoping for more answers from the hospital when I go next month.

Thanks for reading
Keira x

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